December 28, 2017
Sexual Transgressions and Forgiveness
We are, I am grateful to say, in a moment when the sexual transgressions of powerful men are being acknowledged and addressed. It has been far too long that powerful men have secured sex, subordination and silence from women in their orbit as a perk of their position. I wish I were confident that the tide is really turning and […]
October 16, 2017
Withholding – Part 3 – After Delivery
All of us sometimes “withhold” even in important relationships. I have spoken in the previous entries about why we do this, how we can recognize that we are doing it, how to decide whether to deliver a withhold and a bit about how to actually deliver it. I turn here to address how to make the withholds we give and […]
July 8, 2017
Withholding – Part 2 – Delivering Withholds
In the first part of this series, I described how we might recognize a “withhold.” This is a feeling or thought pertinent to my relationship with someone, that I do not express. My withholding impoverishes the relationship. It creates an emotional charge that I manage by distancing from the other and by telling myself a story of frustration or resentment […]